My mom is busy preparing the table for dinner when she noticed that a car parked in the garage. When my father stepped out of the car, my mother quickly stopped preparing the dinner table and went on to get my nephew, the son of my eldest sister. She handed him over to me and instructed me to get my 18-month old nephew in the room. (This has turned into practice because my father has the tendency to get extremely angry and throw things at anybody he sees. ) That particular moment, I was not able to bring my nephew inside the room immediately as the phone rang.
What I did was to answer the phone first and because my nephew was playing with the cord of the phone, I had no other choice but to bring down/let go of my nephew, who quickly ran around the living room. When I hang up the phone, the little boy was already being held by my father. Since I was too scared, I pretended to call my nephew saying that he is supposed to drink milk already because it is bedtime. He came near me and so I carried him to the room as fast as I could. This motivated my father to kick the center table and throw away the folder and magazines placed on top of the table.
He yelled at me, but then I was too quick to close the door and lock ourselves in there. He shouted at my mother and he said, “Look at how rude your daughter is? ” My mother replied, “You cannot blame her. She was just trying to protect the young boy from witnessing your aggressive behaviors and from the possibility of getting hurt physically when you start throwing objects at us. ” Then he yelled again, “That daughter of yours is brilliant but she is extremely bad-mannered”.
I did not hear the response of my mother because by then my father began to throw things which I later found out to be plates, glasses, jars, the CPU, figurines, my nephews toys, etc. This went on for about ten minutes or so. When he stopped throwing things and his yells finally came to a halt, I could already clearly hear my mother crying, sobbing, and whispering something. This is also the time when I heard my uncle, who is my mother’s brother saying something to my mother. I was so thankful that he already arrived to comfort our mother. Description of My Feelings Upon the arrival of my father, I already felt the tension.
I felt so nervous just the thought of seeing him or being with him again. When my mother instructed me to bring my nephew inside the room, I felt anger and frustration. I remembered everything about my past in a flash: how he slapped me the first time, which occurred when I was only three years old; how often he would pinch me; or slap with a newspaper, a stick, his T-square; his yells and curses; when he slapped my mother with his jeans when I was only in the third grade, when he burned all my books when I got a low grade in science; when he threw a bowl at my mother’s face; and so on and so forth.
After I answered the phone and saw that he was holding my nephew, I wanted to immediately take my nephew away from him. I was just so scared that if any argument arises between my mother and him, or between him and I, my nephew would automatically get hurt. See I know very well about his tendency to lash out at other people even if they do not have anything to do with the problem. I am just so terrified that my nephew would experience what I went through with him. I do not want the young boy to witness any aggression with his age as I feel he would be terribly traumatized if it were to happen.
I have this feeling that such will happen if violent behavior is witnessed by him. As he was throwing things, I wanted to go out to protect my mother. Honestly, I felt like I want to hit him with something as well or do something that will at least make him stop. I thought to myself, “If only I could leave this young boy alone in this room then I would go out and probably do something to make my father stop. ” I also wished that I were a little bigger so maybe I could just use physical force to defend my family against his wrongdoing.
When my mother cried, I felt like I was going to blow up. It was exceedingly difficult to contain all the hurt and the pain inside of me. It is relieving on my part that my uncle arrived when that terrible fight occurred. Interpretation Since the arguments and parental fights occur often, I feel that my father has a serious “mind problem”. Considering that he cannot control himself when it comes to conquering anger, throwing things, always yelling, and often hurting people physically, then he really has a serious mental problem.
He needs to be placed under a very close supervision in a mental institution and undergo treatment for his anti-social behavior. Maybe he will also need basic training on anger management after his deviant behavior is addressed. My reactions/emotions are probably natural especially that I know my father as a person and I know how “bad” he can get. In addition to that, I probably cannot convince myself to try to forgive him yet that is why when my mother instructed me to bring my nephew inside the room, I did not have any objections to it.
Perhaps, I am also being too paranoid because of what I went through with him in the past and so every time he is in the house, I have no other recourse but to make sure that my father is not anywhere near the young boy. I love my mother very much and that hearing her cries and sobs tear me apart. The eagerness to protect her is natural for me. But the final decision really has to come from her. For me, her cries and sobs meant that she is helpless; she knows she needed to leave my father but for some reason, she just does not have the courage, strength, and heart to do it.
Even if her children advice her that to leave our father is the right thing to do, she will not be able to do it still. My uncle, on the other hand, was just trying to be calm so that my mother will be effectively comforted. I feel that by attending to our mother, he was able to avoid a much greater tension. If he did not do that, then he probably would have confronted my father and may have already punched him or something. He just did not do that because he needs to help lessen the tension being felt greatly.