I had been in a long-term personal relationship , the whole point of which had been to “educate” and “empower” me. Truly, this was one of the most interesting experiences of my life, and rather educational. However, it had also been one of the most difficult periods in my life. The relationship could be described as compulsory, because I was too young at the time to know better. Any long-term relationship of friendship or love between two people develops in a certain pattern.
First of all, it’s interest, singular or mutual. If mutual, the interest may develop to the point of passion. By passion I mean a heightened interest, and a desire to spend a lot of time with the new acquaintance. This is where many points of similarity are found, and two people can’t get enough of talking, because the other suddenly becomes a point of interest. The next stage is one where people get used to each other, the interest is not quite so new anymore, and the differences begin to show.
At this stage, the relationship either breaks, if the differences are too great, or gains a measure of rationality. The other is seen not only as something wondrous, but as a human with weaknesses and strengths. If the inital differences are overcome, the relationship continues at its strongest. Its life then depends on how the two persons involved develop. If they do so in a compatible form, the relationship continues. Ever once in a while the relationship is reevaluated. The differencefrom the usual scheme and my relationship was simple.
I had been that much weaker than my partner. For a very long time, I was deprived of the possibility of reevaluation, because my partner was always right. Even when I clearly saw he was wrong, I had been unable to do a thing about it, convinced that his authority was infallible. This led to a double understanding, and a rather painful latter process of emancipation. It took me years to just notice his weaknesses,though I had already been in pain from the subconscious incompatibility.
Breaking the relationship was a difficult task, since I was practically dependent on my partner, who had decided where I went and how, gave me advice on how to live. And yet, when I got my own opinion, the next reevaluations distanced us more and more until we finally left each other. Since then, I have seen this cycle many times, and it can be either a blessing, as the optimal way to arrange a relationship, or a curse, in the case of an abnormality such as my case was.